Thursday, October 13
13,10,16 For a few moments, i dont want to seem like i need to rush to  - to do something for someone - or to be somebody for someone \i need the time to be me mysself, and perhaps,away from her and studies and the fear of not being able to pass and graduate maybe i let go a little,things gets looser, and ican see more clearly i have never dared to take a look atthe night scene of my house and let go for three months since i moved back.. \If this is what my mother becomes, because of rearing me and i still look down on her and what she has done for me// If i have not been a mother, iwould not beable to relate// she has done enough for me, andd sacrifice// she has lost so much direction in life abbout what she can do because of lost time// and she cant catch up and catch back thhe lost time/ she also lose the confidence in herself just like i do// the things that happened to me is being compounded on her/// \I really wouldlike to undo and protect her with what i can but i cant// icant go back andbe with her,makeher feel less scared/ God, you impressed that you will make little streams down the hills you will make a waywhen there seem to be none//